When's Labor Day?

The National Education Association's 'Read Across America' visited the Laurel Mall today, complete with costumed characters.

Clifford the Big Red Dog was there, except he was standing about 5 foot nothin' and wearing shiny black size 6 pumps which was about the freakiest thing I ever done seen. I quickly looked around to see if any Furries were standing nearby with their hands too deep in their pants pockets.

Also in attendance was The Grinch, wearing a Santa hat, a Santa jacket, and black polyester pants. In addition, the Nittany lion wandered to and fro handing out pencils. Literacy, you know. Ah, what the heck. The little ankle biters were ecstatic and the joy on their little faces made me want to just squish 'em, they were so cute.

The usual cast of characters was on hand, as well. A woman with a deep tan, a hard lined face, and steel grey hair pulled severly back hollered at Dino's counter person, "Why is the mall so crowded?!"

"Dr. Suess." replied that worthy body.

"I thought that was Sunday!" returned Calamity Jane as she walked into Dino's dining room to smoke a butt.

Sharing the dining room with her, a young man wearing one full size sock and one footie type sock in his white sneakers, and his companion, an old man with white hair in a sweeping wave and a strange lisp in his mouth. Both of them ate pizza and complained about every one of the neighbors on their street.

"He said he was disabled but he wasn't too disabled to pull all the signs down in the street." was one comment.

"Thash what happened to the shigns?" said the old man?

"That's what happened to the signs." replied the young man.

Our fair city, say I.

I went to the mall to find a large mat onto which I could put the electric water bowl I had purchased for the cats so they could have fresh flowing water that would enrich their lives and make them love me, but Webster, the large primary cat, decided he liked the water in the electric water bowl better spread around the kitchen. I thought, perhaps, the mat having a rubber backing, it would help control Webster's excesses. Alas, the mat is more porous than I thought so it's back to the drawing board. Meanwhile, the cats' lives are truly fucking enriched.
  • Current Mood: where DOES the time go?
In my memories of participating in read Across America, it didn't seem nearly as obnoxious as it is when one works right by the stage. Several abandoned children came in my store and threw stuff all over. I was not a happy camper.