20 random stupid facts

Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. if you're tagged it's your turn.

I'm not going to tag anybody because they would all drop off my flist faster than the leaves are turning on the trees round these parts and, besides, it will take me at least three hours to think of 20 random facts that aren't excruciatingly boring but merely regularly boring. Also, the only other time I was tagged to do one of these thingies was for a "what music do I listen to" or something like that meme and since I don't generally listen to a lot of music I ignored that meme totally but this is castevet tagging me and she is an ephemeral creature of the night whom I love in a chaste and Christian way because I'm not a sicko pedophile cradle robber dirty old man person even though she's seriously boinkable but I have to do this meme run on sentence the end.

  1. I was born a bastard to two marines from North Carolina and was immediately put up for adoption because this was 1960 when being born out of wedlock was a FUCKING SIN PEOPLE! Or so I'm told.

  2. In 1955, my parents moved away from all their friends and family in Connecticut and settled in Winter Haven, Florida, home of "Beautiful Cypress Gardens." I never learned why they did that but I followed their example and moved away from them at 18 years of age. Actually, I think it was despair and disgust after the flood of 1955 swallowed my father's little grocery store whole and shit it into the ocean near New Haven.

  3. My parents moved into a neighborhood with no kids my age. There were teenagers some 8 or 9 years older for a little while and there was a kid across the street who was 8 or 9 years my junior. My sister was only three years younger (she was also adopted from some hopeless circumstance or other) but we rapidly became dramatically different people and didn't hang out together once we became more independent. Because of this I don't think I learned how to properly relate to people my age. Or anybody else, for that matter. Emo much?

  4. As a child my pastel pink colored, ranch style home was bordered by a lake on one side, and a huge orange grove on the other side. I collected Apple Snail shells and learned how to swim in the lake, named Lake Summit. I suspect it was called Lake Summit because it was near what was supposed to be the second highest point in Florida, that point being right across the street from my house. In the 1920s there was a wooden tower one could climb for the view. In the 60s there was a fruit stand that also sold souvenirs to the passing tourists. In the late 70s it was an empty, lonely mound. By that time the orange grove was gone, too, having succumbed to several cold winter freezes. While the orange grove was still there they used to pull with tractors these huge, immensely loud, red pesticide spraying things, up and down every row. Those things scared the crap out of me.

  5. My 20 random facts are turning into 20 random rambling disjointed novels but it's my 20 random goddam facts so shut up.

  6. Because I grew up next to "Beautiful Cypress Gardens" I encountered many many people on happy holidays. It has made me a fan of  (a) travel for travel's sake  (b) old style tourist attractions  (c) busy hotels.

  7. The other thing that contributed to number 6 is that all through the 60s and into the early 70s, every summer, we would spend one week in Daytona Beach at the Casbah motel, on the south end of the beach. There was a long pier near the motel. There was a shop built in the center of it where you could buy the usual souvenirs and such, but also you could buy bait and go fishing! I would always walk out to the end of the pier and look over the ocean and beyond the horizon. I always walked out there barefoot and I always had a fear that one day I would step on a big fish hook. One evening only, out of our Daytona vacation week, we would drive into town, to the pretty much year round carnival they had there. I would look for my favorite landmarks like The Rat's Hole where they sold air brushed t-shirts, bongs, hippy paraphernalia and who knows what all else. At the carnival there was a stage shell in which I never saw a band play. There was also a Krystal's hamburger joint in which we never ate but which used to shine like a beacon, all chrome and hundreds of lights. Ever since I've always imagined heaven as being all chromed out with millions of 100 watt light bulbs. When the gas crunch hit, in the early 70s, our week long vacations to Daytona Beach stopped. This entire random fact is about yearning, I think.

  8. I'm already starting to wrack my brains for facts and I'm not even half way through.

  9. I love tunnels and caves and Carlsbad Caverns is currently my favorite tourist spot. How's THAT for random, boy!

  10. When I was no more than six or seven I left my toy bendable rubbery Gumby doll in a little motel in North Carolina. My Gumby doll was pretty scuffed up and he had a bad splitting tear in his crotch because my Gumby doll did some serious gymnastics, yo, but I loved him dearly and I long for him. My sister had Pokey. Both of them have gone by the wayside as well but I don't miss them at all mainly because I'm seriously messed up in the head.

  11. I'm incredibly lucky, not in the "Whoa, you just won a million dollars!!" way but rather the "I say, we got through that by the skin of our teeth, eh? What a spot of luck." way. Always lucky like that.

  12. I'm wasting my potential.

  13. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up but I know it's not the Pope, Steven Seagal, or that woman in HR.

  14. When I was in Palma de Mallorca, in 1984, I went to a little fair at which they had games of chance, one of which was a target shooting game. The object was to shoot a bullseye with an actual pellet gun. Because I had some innate ability, honed by time in the JROTC and the military, I shot the hell out of that target and won a cheap bottle of wine which I promptly drank. Now, the thing that occurred to me about that was I knew then, and know now, that there is no way anybody in America can have target shooting games with actual pellet guns that have bottles of wine as prizes because of the almost certain chance of litigation. For this sole reason I think Europe is better and I wish someone would take me in to live over there. I'm lucky, not rational. Also, this incident reminded me again of vacations in Daytona because at the carnival there they had a target shooting game and the pellet guns fired like machine guns! You held the trigger down and the gun would fire until you ran out of pellets. I remember my Dad shooting out every smidge of color on this little printed red star on a bit of card stock. I can't remember what he won. I was too young. But afterwards we had cotton candy.

  15. I am a cuckold but the parting was amicable.

  16. I feel very sorry for the people detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba because I spent five weeks there and that place is fucking surreal. The navy base is gi-normous, with lots of empty space. They have immense land crabs and iguanas there and when you walk down a deserted, moonlit, palm tree lined road in the middle of the night you can hear those huge crabs clicking and clacking at you from the shadows. The bus ride from my ship to the laundromat used to take at least 45 minutes one way. They had an outdoor movie theater with benches and tables but the benches and tables were all made of concrete and were unbearable to sit or recline on after only a short time. Plus the bugs. Plus the heat.

  17. Back in Palma my friend Pauly engaged the services of a prostitute. I waited for him outside a ramshackle old house while he got whatever he paid for. When we got back to the States I told my wife about it and she promptly told his wife. He was pretty pissed at me for awhile. Yet his was the marriage that lasted. I have since learned discretion. You can tell me secrets now and I will take them to the grave. Even if you incarcerate me forever in Gitmo.

  18. I miss the Ed Sullivan Show.

  19. Though I grew up in Florida, Autumn was then, and still is now, my favorite season but it's not really Fall unless you're in the northeast U.S. Speaking of which, twice my father and mother dragged my sister and me up to Connecticut to visit the fambly. There I was introduced to the completely foreign concept of houses with basements! How exotic! We used to play this glow-in-the-dark haunted house game in my cousins' cellar with the lights out! Joy!

  20. As a child my mother used to take me to the most boring children's clothing store in the entire frikkin' world. No shopping malls with The Gap back then. No wearing jeans either but I did have to wear Buster Brown shoes with special inserts to prevent fallen arches. Thanks for making me popular, Mom. Anyway, I remember looking out the glass front doors of that children's clothing store in downtown Winter Haven and seeing a long haired young man wearing a fringed brown suede jacket strutting across the street. A store clerk wearing horn rimmed glasses and a beehive hairdo said to me, "You don't want to be like that hippy!" At that instant, and for every single instant since then, deep down inside, I have wished I was that hippy.

  • Current Mood: factual
My family had a week's vacation in FL back in the 70s, and one of our day trips was to Cypress Gardens. I loved it, and was terribly sorry to hear recently that it closed because it just wasn't getting enough traffic. Although I think I've also heard that someone may be coming in to save it, which would be nice.
Your description of Guantanamo makes it sound like torture even without electrode enemas. Yuck.
"They have immense land crabs and iguanas there and when you walk down a deserted, moonlit, palm tree lined road in the middle of the night you can hear those huge crabs clicking and clacking at you from the shadows."

This is capital, sir
Your 20 was certainly more interesting to read then mine would be.
Awesome fo fawesome! You're infinately more interesting than me. I didn't know you were married before!

I got my amazon package in the mail just yesterday and I am so friggin excited and happy you've made my week!
Awww Sluggo no mention of our gay trysts! :( Egads, the man.
You're welcome to friend away. I will friend back because I love the increasing diversity of my flist. Regarding our mutual interests, I can't say that I've explored combining them in any way but as for photos, autumn and winter are coming and that hopefully means lots of shots of colorful leaves and then stark branches back lit by stormy skies. Woo!