More whining, or whinging.

I haven't posted in awhile because I've been caught up in an appalling malaise. At least it would be appalling if I weren't feeling so apathetic. Every day I'm off from work I crawl out of my futon and onto my couch and every night I crawl off the couch and back to the futon. If I'm hungry, and can muster the energy, I get some kind of sub sandwich. If I can't muster the energy it's peanut butter by the spoonful. Or nothing. At least my workdays are somewhat interesting.

Obvious statement of the day: There's something about a hospital that really brings out the best and the worst in people. But also all that waiting around and routine. I think that's what's causing the malaise. I can see it in the faces of some of the staff. Now I've caught it.

I don't think I mentioned it before, but I'm contracted to the hospital to help with a major software rollout they're doing for their electronic health record application. I'm supervising a team of people who are moving from unit to unit as the rollout goes on, showing the staff how to use the software. Lately we've been working in the children's hospital, on every unit on down to NICU. Nothing like preemies to brighten your day.

I've also been helping out on one of the psych wards. Some of the people there are pitiful. There's nothing really wrong with them. They're just bored and lonely and desirous of attention. "Can I have my medicine? Can I have a cigarette? Can I have my cell phone?" One of the old women was walking around with a t-shirt that said, "I'm out of my mind. Please leave a message." I reckon the reason she's there is because no one ever does.

But then there are the real patients. They recently brought in an almost certainly psychotic young woman. The first time she saw me she asked me if I was the Pope. She walks around blurting out things like, "Put me in handcuffs, I'm under arrest." or "I'm back!! I'm BACK in BLACK!!" She puts up her hair and takes it down again, over and over. She changes her clothes constantly. When she's keeping them on at all.

Last Saturday she was smoking a cigarette in the courtyard while wearing only panties. One of the other patients was deeply offended by the display and thanked the nurses in no uncertain terms when they put a sheet around her and walked her to her room. The woman is youngish and pretty and I would not have thanked the nurses. So now I have to ask who is the sick one, me or that other patient.

I heard one of the nurses commenting that the young woman was a dancer, by which she meant an exotic dancer. An old fashioned term but that was the meaning. The nurse said it with a certain amount of disgust. I didn't feel disgust, just anger. If that young woman had been living in New Orleans 12 years ago when I was still a child abuse investigator for the NOPD I have no doubt she would have been part of my case load. That this young woman's situation might have been prevented gets to me. But then I remind myself that there's nothing I can do about it now so I accept what is.

I just ate some peanut butter and I'm examining whether I have the energy to go out and get some supper. I have three Japanese films from the 60s sitting here and maybe I'll actually watch them tonight before I crawl off the couch and back to my futon.
  • Current Mood: malaise with mayonnaise
futon = fold out couch.
Move your computer to the futon, get a pointy stick and just stay in bed you energetic slug you.
Oh dear, yeah that would be depressing. But eat properly and don't react to the depression by neglecting yourself. I have a friend who does that and it really upsets me. If only I lived near him, I'd do more to feed him properly and get him out of the house.

So yeah, don't make me go motherly on your ass. ;)