Vignettes from Hooterville

I tend to leave my door open in the summer time to promote the circulation of air in my apartment. Also, to let my cats gaze upon the wider world.

I heard someone open my screen door the other day and I walked into the kitchen. The landlord's maintenance man, a 50 something going on 75 was sweeping the lintel. I asked him what he was doing. "I'm going to paint your door." the craggy faced shlemiel replied. He had been slowly painting the whole building a combination of tan and baby shit brown. The latter was the color intended for my door. When I had first moved in the door had been black. I had added bright red highlights that had improved the look tremendously. "Paint my door?" I inquired. "It will look better." Gomer replied. Of course, you know what happened. He painted one coat so that now I have a baby shit brown door with streaks of black and red showing through. Huzzah.

I went to Wal-Mart, tonight, to buy some neckties for work. Yes, I know, I'm stupid and deserved what I got. Anyway, I needed something to organize my ties and keep them from getting all jumbled. I asked a clerk if they had tie racks. "Did you try the automotive department?" she asked. I shot her on the spot and called for a clean up in men's clothing.

Ah, life in the big city.
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