Random post because I have no work

I've only just noticed that the administrative assistant takes about 16 steps to walk one foot. This is because she has a gigantic mutant ass that makes her dresses ride up, like she has a table strapped to her back. I am surprised that the constant friction from her presumably hippo-like thighs hasn't caused her to spontaneously combust. I suspect it's how she stays warm in the winter.

They finally fixed the phone system here at work which means no more people dialing 0 to reach an operator and getting me. Score another point for misanthropy.

I've decided, for no reason, that I'd like to affect the accent that Sister Wendy has in her Story of Painting series. It's similar to the accent that Penfold has in Danger Mouse (every British person reading this just HMPH'd). That reminds me that I once DID fake an English accent in order to flirt with a tourist girl who was staying in the hotel down the street from my house. I maintained that accent for an entire weekend. I had a whole cover story of where in England I was from and everything. I was watching every British import on PBS that I could find, at the time. And this was BEFORE that movie about the bicycle racer from a small town who pretended he was Italian for a pretty college girl. What was that called? Oh yeah, Breaking Away.

The Economist hammers another nail in the coffin of the American Dream in this article. It basically details how the US is once again moving away from being a meritocracy and becoming an aristocracy. Good thing I kept my guns, because the revolution must surely be coming.

Also, I made the worst coffee EVER this morning.
  • Current Mood: accented