What a totally excellent job I did sewing a button back on my jacket! I threaded the needle on the first try and I was sure these old eyes were going to make that part of the effort take at least three hours. Yeah, I know. So what, right? Just celebrate the small victories with this moldering decrepit mollusc, alright? I mean, my knees are aching from jumping around in karate last night, okay? I'm feeling ancient at the moment so just give me my honorary gay vagina and piss off.