seaslug

In which I contract the fuck disease from my downstairs neighbor

The title is not as sexxay as it sounds.

So I'm sitting on the couch, finishing my Subway sammich, and my big primary cat (thanks as always Dave Berry) walks out from behind the bird cage trailing shredded newspaper and I realize that it's time to vacuum the apartment. "Fuck" I say. "I'm not in the mood." "Fuck it, do one room at a time, that's the ticket" says the other half of my brain. "Fuck that, just get it done." replies the first half. So up I get, strip down to my underwear and start in. "Now that sounds sexxay" you're thinking. Not if you've seen me it isn't.

While I'm vacuuming I leave Leprechaun playing on the television. It has Jennifer Aniston in one of her first starring roles. Her hair is still it's natural color in this one. She's one of the few women I know of who actually looks better with her hair dyed. A commercial comes on for ADT Companion Services, one of those I've fallen and I can't get up! things. They flash a statistic on the screen -- 1 out of 3 people over 65 will fall down this year." What kind of statistic is that? Somebody pulled that one right out of their ass.

I want to take a nap after vacuuming but Beetlejuice is on! And The Addams Family after that! Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci! Hubba! Why don't they show those on Halloween? I want to take a nap because my karate school is having a Christmas party tonight. I have pics of us at the school putting up our Christmas tree and maybe I'll get around to posting them after some eggnog or something. I have to stop at the grocery and get some kind of party platter before I go. I live in a small town and most of the students are farmer types. There will be no drunken Christmas debauchery. But can you imagine what a drunken fight would look like in a karate school?
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