seaslug

Freedom through work

Some people say there's two kinds of folks: the bourgeoisie and the proletariat.

I like to imagine I'm one of the former but I work with the latter. The proletariat work in the factories and the warehouses. They also get their hair cut at the mall. They also drive pick-up trucks. They also live, noisily and drunkenly, in the downstairs apartment but that's a story for another day.

I discovered, some time ago, that the proletariat are easily manipulated in certain situations. For instance, let's say one of the proletariat are driving slowly, in their candy apple red Dodge Ram pick-up truck, in the passing lane on the freeway. All you have to do to get them to speed up and unblock the passing lane is pull alongside them and speed up just enough to give the suggestion that you're going to pass on the right. Immediately their alpha male brains will flood with testosterone and they will sense a threat to their manhood. They will instantly speed up, you can pull in behind them, pass the slower cars in the right lane, and then blow on past Skeeter and his pick-em-up truck as well. This phenomenon can be reproduced at 6 in the morning on the surface roads leading to the factories and warehouses as well because there is NO WAY SOMEBODY IS GOING TO PASS ME AND GET TO THEIR DEAD END JOB FIRST!!!!

I noticed one of the proletariat pulling out of the truck stop, today, wearing the uniform of the day here, a greasy muscle shirt and a motorcycle. He gave a mating call, which is to say he spun out of the parking lot on that rice burner while revving his engine on up to a screaming 237,000 RPM. He wasn't wearing a helmet. We can only hope for the best. A friend from years ago, Scott (I believe in werewolves) Irvin, learned the hard way what happens without protective gear when riding a motorcycle. Someone's grandma pulled out in front of him in her Buick LeSabre and launched him into orbit, sans hip bones. After the doctors (some of whom appear to be in the proletariat) put Humpty Dumpty back together again he now literally has two left feet. Now how much would you pay, Wal-Mart shoppers?

Poll #354174 Which are you?

I am a member of

The Nobility
1(100.0%)
The Proletariat
0(0.0%)
The Mickey Mouse Club
0(0.0%)
The Elks Club
0(0.0%)
Al Qaida
0(0.0%)
  • Current Mood: ennui