angry purple

In which our hero speaks to the neighbors via telepathy

Hey! I hear you up there, Squeaky Bed Sandy's boyfriend! Yeah, I heard you two weeks ago, too, when you had the flu but were still faking your cough. Nobody coughs like that! Except Sasquatch! Are you Bigfoot? I think you are, Yeti-man!

What's that? Is that a spring shower I hear over my head? Are you watering the begonias? Are you writing your name in the toilet bowl? That's not a very strong stream there, chief. You can't put out a lit match with that. Tinkle tinkle. How's the ol' prostate, huh? A bit swolt? A bit stove up? I think you need a checkup there, Skunk Ape.

And how do you make wall to wall carpet sound like a kettle drum? Huh? You are Bigfoot, aren't you, Chewbacca! Ya fucking Wookie! Don't walk away from me Stompy McStomperson! What did you flush the toilet for? You mostly missed!
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