green and purple

In which our hero waffles

I wish I knew why there is such a fundamental difference between my upper body and lower body workouts.

Clearly part of it is psychological but on my upper body days I'm able to focus, push my boundaries, work through the pain, and make progress. My lower body days are just the opposite. I dread them all day (clearly psyching myself out) and during them I just can't wait for it all to be over. My knees and ankles feel creaky, my quads cry out and I give up at the first sign that I'm reaching my limit. I'm not sure what to do about it.

Because I'm a loon and purposely try to sabotage myself, after tonight's workout (an upper body) I headed for the abysmal little Wally World near my house to get some double-stuff peanut butter cream Oreos and some milk. I bought 2% milk, at least.

Because Easter is around the corner I also decided I wanted a chocolate bunny. Gonna bite his little haid off, gonna nibble on his tiny feet. There were a couple sorry specimens off to the side, but front and center were both dark and white chocolate crucifixes! A whole big mess of 'em. I came this close to dropping to my knees and exclaiming that I could see the Virgin Mary in one of them just to rile up the clientele. So, no chocolate bunny, yet, and I'm not buying one of those candy crosses. Might as well make a chocolate Ganesh, far as I'm concerned. Who makes the best chocolate bunnies?
  • Current Mood: flexy
  • Current Music: Psychedelic Furs
I do.
So why do you ask?

And dark lindt semi-bitter chocolate is the way to my heart.
And how would you like to die my dear?
And sometimes we have to go spectacularly.

Prone and spread-eagled on my kitchen table and tied firmly with coarse hemp to the table's legs, you beg me to be gentle. Tears spill down your face to puddle beneath you. Your face is duct-taped to one side and toothpicks keep your eyes propped open. I circle the table with whip in hand, my strap-on Stanley thermos swaying suggestively. Your eyes widen when you see the cold steel jutting from my loins. Tenderly, I place a soft down pillow under your crotchal area to raise your delectable derriere into position. You start to whimper like a little girl. It is fuel for my desires. I have soaked the hard leather whip to soften it, because I love you and don't want to damage your delicate flesh. Wielding the whip with dexterity, I give you a small taste of what is in store for you. I flick the tip with precision and land 3 stinging blows to the tender area between your legs. Your scrotum turns a lovely shade of red and begins to swell. I laugh at your misfortune, and start the Dance of the Thermos. Swaying in front of your tear-stained face, I gently bump my thermos against your mouth, loosening a few of your teeth. You spit them out with contempt and scream at me in a bloody frothy frenzy to let you free. It makes me want you even more. I mount you from behind, my thermos glinting in the late afternoon sun shining feebly through my stained lace curtains.
You cry out in pain at my first attempt to enter you unlubed.
Again and again I thrust, till my thermos is red and wet with your blood and juices. You cry out with every strike, yet you are aroused by my ministerings. Soon you writhe in exhilaration, loathing your desire for the Mighty Thermos but unable to stop the building tension. I abruptly exit you at the peak of your orgasm and jamming my fist past your sphincter, I grab a handful of your colon lining and RIPPING it from your body, I rub the warm steamy flesh against my pudendum, releasing my own orgasm in tandem with yours.
Flowers, possibly but no dinner. I want your colon to be as clean as a whistle. Perhaps a nice colonic?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
So how is the weight-loss crusade going other than your splurging and lower-body exercise-hating? ;)
Although I know I'm getting stronger, I've not lost any real weight, yet. Part of that I attribute to the slow ramp up on the exercise. And the oreos. My diet has altered quite a bit, though, so it should happen.
It'll probably be really slow-going at first, then you'll drop weight like crazy. You're building muscle right now which means you won't see much of a loss in the pounds department. Are you taking measurements?
I suspect you're quite correct. Measurements were taken by the staff at my gym and an assessment will be done in another few weeks so I'll get a better idea of progress then, I imagine.