seaslug

Mall report triple header

A great fat fellow with one leg noticeably shorter than the other, and smelling strongly of garlic, limped up behind me as I stood outside the pet store in the Laurel Mall. He looked at the rabbits in the window display and shouted, "Guinea pigs!" I finished his sentence for him, thinking to myself, "Yum!"

I picked up my Powerbook from the King of Prussia Mall, today. The new hard drive is slightly louder than my old one but it is making completely typical laptop hard drive sounds and everything seems to be functioning normally. When they put my laptop back together they seem to have tightened things up a bit. My keyboard doesn't feel mushy anymore and things don't creak when I rest my hands on my Powerbook's surface. At last, I can read LJ in the bathroom again. Modern conveniences.

While still in King of Prussia, I entered the mall elevator, and the doors began to close. An enormous man (why are there so many fat men in my life?) wearing a gold velour track suit, and pushing one of those side by side double baby strollers, approached, clearly wanting to get on the elevator before it departed. I started to lean forward to keep the doors from closing but realized 1) the elevator was already too full, and 2) the doors were almost closed and the elevator was dinging its outrage for being held up too long anyway. I leaned back and, seeing this, Mr. Gold Velour shoved his arm between the doors, fruitlessly trying to get them to open again. When that failed he started pushing on the doors with both hands and tried to wedge his body between them. The doors were inexorable. The other elevator passengers and I looked at each other like, "Dude, this mall is only two floors. Catch the next one!"

In the Lehigh Valley Mall in Allentown the trashcans are smarter than the customers. While in the food court I took the remains of my supper up to one of them. A red light came on, like a glowing eye, and the trash can slapped it's little mouth door shut. "One moment please." it said, and then it said something else I didn't quite catch. This meant that 1) a trash can was telling me what to do, and 2) it had a speech impediment.

I'm not coming out of my apartment tomorrow.
  • Current Mood: I need a new shtick
oooh: the velour man!

And how is your neighbor? I must know...going back to see if I missed an episode.
My neighbor has been keeping out of trouble and I have nothing to report. She still slams her door constantly, however.