seaslug

Oh, and by the way

I know some of you are on pins and needles so I thought I would mention that they released the wildebeest next door back into the wild.

It was touch and go there for awhile. Before I stepped into the shower, yesterday, a guy showed up who sounded exactly like Adam Corolla but who looked like Sam Gamgee would if I were on acid. The landlord was there, too. I heard mumbling about the lock.

"We paid too much money to get our stuff here. We're not going to move over a $20 lock." said Acid Sam.

"Yeah, but she wants one of these locks." replied the landlord in that voice of his that makes you think that, 45 years ago, a rat and a turtle mated and had children.

"YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT!!!11" shrilled the prisoner at an astounding volume, breaking every window on the block. Fortunately the window on my front door is plexiglass.

"Donna! Calm down, calm down" callled Acid Sam.

Sam and the landlord worked some more and talked about the possibility of having to destroy the door.

"I'LL PAY FOR YOUR GODDAMN DOOR!!" bellowed beast girl.

"Donna, shut up, please!!" begged Acid Sam, adding a second very heartfelt, "Please."

Sam then asked, "Donna, do you have a hammer in there? Yeah, she's got a hammer in there."

Donna must have handed it through the kitchen window (No, she wouldn't have fit through that window and it was a 15 foot drop anyway.). I heard BANG BANG BANG! Then I took a shower. When I came out everyone was gone and there were lock parts on the landing.

So now Acid Sam-Adams Corolla and his sister/girlfriend/whatever, Donna the wildebeest, are back to doing whatever it is that they do and the landlord has gone back to wondering why he couldn't get into the mafia like the rest of his family.

The end?
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  • Current Music: Flyleaf
I have this irrational mad hate for Adam Carolla. Hearing the voice may have made me want to go, ya know, silence it. Then again, it would seem he is being punished enough by having some sort of attachment to the wildebeest.

I hope it's not the end!
Auughh! I'm dying with laughter! Your neighbors remind me of the last apartment I lived in, where something weird was always happening. I spent one night glued to my bathroom window watching my upstairs neighbors being led away in handcuffs--I never did find out what happened, but they never came back and eventually a girl with two Great Danes moved in. She didn't last long, though, because one of her dogs had a back problem and couldn't get up the stairs. I know because she knocked on my door in tears one afternoon to ask for help carrying the dog up. I have a 110-pound Newfoundland so I was definitely the one to ask. She moved to a downstairs apartment across the street from my building.

My cousin lived in the same apartment complex and he came home from work one day to find his whole side of the building roped off and full of cops. His idiotic neighbors had accidentally killed themselves while huffing gas to get high--right across the hall from his apartment. He was a little unnerved.
My beastly neighbor has a dog, too. I can hear it galloping up and down the hall next door. Well, I'm pretty sure it's a dog. Well, I'm pretty sure it's not her.